Thursday, June 9, 2011

How to make friends and keep them the easy way

People want to know how to make friends and keep them easily. There are some things you must know on how to establish new friendship and keep pals close. 

Having a best friend
You may call someone your best friend, best buddy, or simply BFF, but how can you make friends and keep them the easy way? A best friend is someone whom an individual considers to be the greatest or best person to be with.  It is someone who can read what’s on your mind without even having to say anything.  Considering a person your best friend is easier than having to hear someone say it to you.  For some of pleasing attitudes, it’s never impossible to have more than one at once.

Having friends and the process of finding them is an indication of a healthy social attitude. From childhood, we tend to establish connections with those around us. These are mostly superficial, though. There are only a few people I know who considered their childhood friends their best.  As we grow older, we realize that true bonds are difficult to achieve and that we may even take plain association as friendship. Keeping the same set of friends means you have succeeded in your social interactions and that you are doing things that please those who hang on to you. It’s possible to change our set of friends, as we may find differences along the way, but to do so often mean we must start examining ourselves for faults that keep others distant.

Lifts higher. Friendship makes you feel accepted by people around you. My friends and I during our beach party. (Photo by Vitzky Palmejar)
Friendship and gender
Another thing that seems to get along the way is friendship between genders.  For most, platonic relationships don’t really exist and that having a close friend of the opposite gender may end up with one person crying. I am a firm believer of platonic relationships, however.   As a matter of fact, I enjoy having close friends of both genders.  Having someone to talk to honestly will lead to understanding of things we alone may not understand.  When I dress up, for example, I would love to take the words from my girl friends about the colors that are good or the fashion style that may fit me. My guy friends, on the other hand, will be up to consulting whether I actually look slutty or just fine.  I think men are more concerned with what a female friend would look like and what will men say after seeing her.  When faced with relationship problems, female friends tend to give advices that are more emotional and would be of giving second chances. Guy friends on the otherhand, would say things straight. They explain the man’s action from a man’s point of view. That may hurt the woman at times, but at least they don’t give false chances.  Hanging out with male friends can also mean more security than with female-only circle.

Strengthening intimacy between friends can be fostered by secret-sharing.  When it comes to this, women are more open to tell stories to each other. They tend to tell almost anything without thinking much of limits. With men, secrets are quite safe. They don’t tend to be tempted to tell the story to the next fellow they meet. Male friends also share stories that may awaken women’s awareness of men and the things they want in general.  But, whether man or woman, be careful with people you choose to share your thoughts with. Be sure to open things up only to people you can truly trust.  Staying away from stress or maybe avoiding it needs some best friends’ caring hands. 
Time tested. Friendships build from younger days are stronger
than those we started during adult life. Having a great time here with my high school pals.

(Photo by Grace Dequina-Estancia)
Friendships and the changing times
With the kind of demands society presses on people, many would agree that at some point, our sense of closeness in the community has decreased. Gone are the days when we enjoy barbeque or tea parties with neighbors. With so much things to do or jobs to fulfill and with technology usage taking most of our free time, we became impersonal and distant.  Dealing with the feeling of being lonesome has become a social concern, and the need to keep and maintain friendships has soared so high. Many may have been struggling to find some people to hang out with, and talk over coffee. Is it one of the reasons people would find friends online and even think of dating virtually? Some are even hardly hit by the fact of just being de-friended on Facebook! What a sad reality!

Keeping your friendly connections
We all have the need to be connected to other individuals. We should not only focus on establishing close connection with a single person and keeping it that way. It has been proven to be unhealthy and can even end up in an intensely destructive way.  A kind of bond we have with just a single individual can’t fill all our needs as a person. It‘s just like parents’ love for their children.  They pour attention and show love in many ways, but they can never live solely because of them.
Reunited. My friends and I after 10 years.
With friends, we can get the right combination of fun. They can even be our support system whom we can confide without fear of being misjudged.  They are the ones who make us do things without feeling embarrassed, and who would seek help from us in return. That’s how humans are supposed to be for each other, to love and be loved they said. We all have our bad days, but having friends is proven to ease the feeling of having to get through these tough times.  Imagine if you don’t have any pals around you. You will feel easily isolated and depressed. You need not consider others’ feelings, so you always have mood swings annoying enough for others. When everyone else flees, you will be isolated and vulnerable, worst, become suicidal.

Establishing new friendships
When everyone else is gone to father cities, got married or unfortunately died, you don’t have to make yourself suffer by not having someone as a pal. It is of course better if you know your friends for a long time, but moving on with finding new acquaintances every time is great.  Who said there is an age limit to making new friends? No matter how old you may think you are, getting out of your comfort zone and reaching out to people can gain you fresh connections.  It is important to continue meeting new faces.
No to age limit. Members of my close circle belongs to different age groups. 
You don’t even have to be specific about the place where you can find friends.  If you go out to get a cup of coffee or snacks every day, there is a chance to meet some new mates. Walking on the same area everyday will make you see the same faces.  Start with a smile. They are your potential friends.

Keeping bonds stronger
It can be tolerable for some to let months pass by without hearing something from friends. It shouldn’t be like this, anyway. No matter how distant, it is heartwarming to know that someone is wondering what you’re up to, wishing you are fine, and eager to know if you are doing well.  Life is perfectly better when friends are regularly in contact. With today’s technology, maintaining friendships with those who moved is as easy as making an effort to stay connected. Never let distance or hectic schedules make the connections fade.

You are who they are. The kind of friends you have will tell people who you are.
The morning after our out-of-town Christmas party!
Final points to remember
You can have friends when you are worthy to have them. With your attitude and personality, you will get to attract people of the same quality. Birds of feathers flock together, as they’ve said. Nevertheless, no matter how perfect a friendship might seem, it will always go through challenges and changes.  Time will come when you think you are the only person making an effort to reach out. Just remember that best buddies never keep sheets to record who has done much and who hasn’t.  Never jump into conclusions. Your friend, whom you think is slack, may be experiencing troubles that are yet to be shared. To be a good friend, remember that when you are missing pals, let them know. Send a quick message to let them know you remember. By constantly reminding them that you are still there, they will never forget you, and will appreciate you more! 

Can you make friends easily? Do you keep in touch with those who are away? Did you ever have an estranged friend? Can men just stay friends with women? Do we even need friends to survive? What are you thoughts about friendships? 

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