Thursday, June 9, 2011

How to make friends and keep them the easy way

People want to know how to make friends and keep them easily. There are some things you must know on how to establish new friendship and keep pals close. 

Having a best friend
You may call someone your best friend, best buddy, or simply BFF, but how can you make friends and keep them the easy way? A best friend is someone whom an individual considers to be the greatest or best person to be with.  It is someone who can read what’s on your mind without even having to say anything.  Considering a person your best friend is easier than having to hear someone say it to you.  For some of pleasing attitudes, it’s never impossible to have more than one at once.

Having friends and the process of finding them is an indication of a healthy social attitude. From childhood, we tend to establish connections with those around us. These are mostly superficial, though. There are only a few people I know who considered their childhood friends their best.  As we grow older, we realize that true bonds are difficult to achieve and that we may even take plain association as friendship. Keeping the same set of friends means you have succeeded in your social interactions and that you are doing things that please those who hang on to you. It’s possible to change our set of friends, as we may find differences along the way, but to do so often mean we must start examining ourselves for faults that keep others distant.

Lifts higher. Friendship makes you feel accepted by people around you. My friends and I during our beach party. (Photo by Vitzky Palmejar)
Friendship and gender
Another thing that seems to get along the way is friendship between genders.  For most, platonic relationships don’t really exist and that having a close friend of the opposite gender may end up with one person crying. I am a firm believer of platonic relationships, however.   As a matter of fact, I enjoy having close friends of both genders.  Having someone to talk to honestly will lead to understanding of things we alone may not understand.  When I dress up, for example, I would love to take the words from my girl friends about the colors that are good or the fashion style that may fit me. My guy friends, on the other hand, will be up to consulting whether I actually look slutty or just fine.  I think men are more concerned with what a female friend would look like and what will men say after seeing her.  When faced with relationship problems, female friends tend to give advices that are more emotional and would be of giving second chances. Guy friends on the otherhand, would say things straight. They explain the man’s action from a man’s point of view. That may hurt the woman at times, but at least they don’t give false chances.  Hanging out with male friends can also mean more security than with female-only circle.

Strengthening intimacy between friends can be fostered by secret-sharing.  When it comes to this, women are more open to tell stories to each other. They tend to tell almost anything without thinking much of limits. With men, secrets are quite safe. They don’t tend to be tempted to tell the story to the next fellow they meet. Male friends also share stories that may awaken women’s awareness of men and the things they want in general.  But, whether man or woman, be careful with people you choose to share your thoughts with. Be sure to open things up only to people you can truly trust.  Staying away from stress or maybe avoiding it needs some best friends’ caring hands. 
Time tested. Friendships build from younger days are stronger
than those we started during adult life. Having a great time here with my high school pals.

(Photo by Grace Dequina-Estancia)
Friendships and the changing times
With the kind of demands society presses on people, many would agree that at some point, our sense of closeness in the community has decreased. Gone are the days when we enjoy barbeque or tea parties with neighbors. With so much things to do or jobs to fulfill and with technology usage taking most of our free time, we became impersonal and distant.  Dealing with the feeling of being lonesome has become a social concern, and the need to keep and maintain friendships has soared so high. Many may have been struggling to find some people to hang out with, and talk over coffee. Is it one of the reasons people would find friends online and even think of dating virtually? Some are even hardly hit by the fact of just being de-friended on Facebook! What a sad reality!

Keeping your friendly connections
We all have the need to be connected to other individuals. We should not only focus on establishing close connection with a single person and keeping it that way. It has been proven to be unhealthy and can even end up in an intensely destructive way.  A kind of bond we have with just a single individual can’t fill all our needs as a person. It‘s just like parents’ love for their children.  They pour attention and show love in many ways, but they can never live solely because of them.
Reunited. My friends and I after 10 years.
With friends, we can get the right combination of fun. They can even be our support system whom we can confide without fear of being misjudged.  They are the ones who make us do things without feeling embarrassed, and who would seek help from us in return. That’s how humans are supposed to be for each other, to love and be loved they said. We all have our bad days, but having friends is proven to ease the feeling of having to get through these tough times.  Imagine if you don’t have any pals around you. You will feel easily isolated and depressed. You need not consider others’ feelings, so you always have mood swings annoying enough for others. When everyone else flees, you will be isolated and vulnerable, worst, become suicidal.

Establishing new friendships
When everyone else is gone to father cities, got married or unfortunately died, you don’t have to make yourself suffer by not having someone as a pal. It is of course better if you know your friends for a long time, but moving on with finding new acquaintances every time is great.  Who said there is an age limit to making new friends? No matter how old you may think you are, getting out of your comfort zone and reaching out to people can gain you fresh connections.  It is important to continue meeting new faces.
No to age limit. Members of my close circle belongs to different age groups. 
You don’t even have to be specific about the place where you can find friends.  If you go out to get a cup of coffee or snacks every day, there is a chance to meet some new mates. Walking on the same area everyday will make you see the same faces.  Start with a smile. They are your potential friends.

Keeping bonds stronger
It can be tolerable for some to let months pass by without hearing something from friends. It shouldn’t be like this, anyway. No matter how distant, it is heartwarming to know that someone is wondering what you’re up to, wishing you are fine, and eager to know if you are doing well.  Life is perfectly better when friends are regularly in contact. With today’s technology, maintaining friendships with those who moved is as easy as making an effort to stay connected. Never let distance or hectic schedules make the connections fade.

You are who they are. The kind of friends you have will tell people who you are.
The morning after our out-of-town Christmas party!
Final points to remember
You can have friends when you are worthy to have them. With your attitude and personality, you will get to attract people of the same quality. Birds of feathers flock together, as they’ve said. Nevertheless, no matter how perfect a friendship might seem, it will always go through challenges and changes.  Time will come when you think you are the only person making an effort to reach out. Just remember that best buddies never keep sheets to record who has done much and who hasn’t.  Never jump into conclusions. Your friend, whom you think is slack, may be experiencing troubles that are yet to be shared. To be a good friend, remember that when you are missing pals, let them know. Send a quick message to let them know you remember. By constantly reminding them that you are still there, they will never forget you, and will appreciate you more! 

Can you make friends easily? Do you keep in touch with those who are away? Did you ever have an estranged friend? Can men just stay friends with women? Do we even need friends to survive? What are you thoughts about friendships? 

Divorce bill debated

With the Philippines as the only country in the world where divorce is not legal, the Filipinos are once again facing pressures to keep up with the changing times- and this includes social acceptance that marriage is not a lifetime commitment. This is by enacting a law that favors dissolving failed marriages. This is in addition to the much debated Reproductive Health Bill which the Catholic Church deem unacceptable and, thus, should be opposed.

For the proponents, legalizing divorce in the country is nothing but a revival of an abolished law. It has been presented that while we were under the Spaniards, the Filipinos who found irreconcilable differences with their partner may declare the marriage a mistake and will have the privilege to remarry freely.  They also stressed that the law, if enacted, shouldn’t be a much easier option for escaping marital problems, but should serve to protect women. According to the data from the Solicitor General, there are about 800 legal separation or annulment cases filed monthly, mostly by women or by Catholics.

While there is an undeniable opposition from the anti-divorce groups, advocates of the bill, which they prefer to as the “Filipino style”, say it is not of intention to make it easier like they do in Las Vegas.  That its purpose is merely to help troubled couples, especially women, resolve their marital issues and assist them to move on with their lives.  It is emphasized that the divorce law will only cater to people who have been legally separated for at least two years.

With much to be debated, solons are now pushing for the fate of the bill through a referendum.

Are Filipinos keeping up with changes? 

How to Write a Descriptive Essay

More than many other types of essays, descriptive essays strive to create a deeply involved and vivid experience for the reader. Great descriptive essays achieve this affect not through facts and statistics but by using detailed observations and descriptions.



What do you want to describe?
As you get started on your descriptive essay, it's important for you to identify exactly what you want to describe. Often, a descriptive essay will focus on portraying one of the following:
·         a person
·         a place
·         a memory
·         an experience
·         an object
Ultimately, whatever you can perceive or experience can be the focus of your descriptive writing.
Why are you writing your descriptive essay?
It's a great creative exercise to sit down and simply describe what you observe. However, when writing a descriptive essay, you often have a particular reason for writing your description. Getting in touch with this reason can help you focus your description and imbue your language with a particular perspective or emotion.
Example: Imagine that you want to write a descriptive essay about your grandfather. You've chosen to write about your grandfather's physical appearance and the way that he interacts with people. However, rather than providing a general description of these aspects, you want to convey your admiration for his strength and kindness. This is your reason for writing the descriptive essay. To achieve this, you might focus one of your paragraphs on describing the roughness of his hands, roughness resulting from the labor of his work throughout his life, but you might also describe how he would hold your hands so gently with his rough hands when having a conversation with you or when taking a walk.
How should you write your description?
If there's one thing you should remember as you write your descriptive essay, it's the famous saying: show don't tell. But what's the difference between showing and telling? Consider these two simple examples:
·         I grew tired after dinner.
·         As I leaned back and rested my head against the top of the chair, my eyelids began to feel heavy, and the edges of the empty plate in front of me blurred with the white tablecloth.
The first sentence tells readers that you grew tired after dinner. The second sentence shows readers that you grew tired. The most effective descriptive essays are loaded with such showing because they enable readers to imagine or experience something for themselves.
As you write your descriptive essay, the best way to create a vivid experience for your readers is to focus on the five senses.
·         sight
·         sound
·         smell
·         touch
·         taste
When you focus your descriptions on the senses, you provide vivid and specific details that show your readers rather than tell your readers what you are describing.
Quick Tips for Writing Your Descriptive Essay
Writing a descriptive essay can be a rich and rewarding experience, but it can also feel a bit complicated. It's helpful, therefore, to keep a quick checklist of the essential questions to keep in mind as you plan, draft, and revise your essay.

Planning your descriptive essay:

·         What or who do you want to describe?
·         What is your reason for writing your description?
·         What are the particular qualities that you want to focus on?

Drafting your descriptive essay:

·         What sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures are important for developing your description?
·         Which details can you include to ensure that your readers gain a vivid impression imbued with your emotion or perspective?

Revising your descriptive essay:

·         Have you provided enough details and descriptions to enable your readers to gain a complete and vivid perception?
·         Have you left out any minor but important details?
·         Have you used words that convey your emotion or perspective?
·         Are there any unnecessary details in your description?
·         Does each paragraph of your essay focus on one aspect of your description?
Are you paragraphs ordered in the most affective way?