Cutter diaries

I miss you, Marj~! (just a repost from my friendster blog)


When the office requested us to decorate the stage for this month’s program, my great friend, Marj, didn’t really looked pleased or excited as usual.  Then, she cracked laughter when she said she would be willing for as long as using cutter will be discouraged. Cutter phobia, anyone?

Flashback...

I woke up so late; I didn’t realize I was back in my room at home. It was 10:30 am, and I wasn’t in Boracay anymore. At least that’s what the room, bed, and pillows told me the moment I opened my eyes and started to regain consciousness of the world around me.

It’s Monday.. but what the hell am I doing in my room? I was supposed to be at work this time. Then reality sank in. I went home a little past midnight (May 4, 2009), informed the office I will be absent for a day, emphasizing I wasn’t in a good condition to perform my job that day.

Waiting for a cab in from of UCPB Jaro the other night, one female freak has turned our vacation into a mess. We had been excited about that… in fact, we were convinced it was perfect…the beach, the company, the experience, the fun. Then, the incident. While I was talking with my mother on the phone, a woman just stabbed my friend (marj) with a cutter, not once, twice, thrice but four times! Good thing all she got were bruises. Maybe the cutter was old; it never performed its part in the crime as intended. “What’s wrong with you?” she shouted at her as she tried to attack her again. Police came, and so was the short “crime scene” investigation. Problem was, it seemed like nobody saw what happened. Alibis raining everywhere. Just when I knew that it’s possible for a dozen of people to go blind simultaneously. 

No doubt it’s very difficult to avail justice in this country! Luckily, though, another friend recognized one of the guys present. So what’s his part in this? It was only later when we knew that the woman who stabbed my friend was his live-in partner, who was so jealous and insecured of the way my friend looked. The trouble with the guy was that he denied he knew the suspect. So congratulations to him, he just got the award “obstruction of justice”. Jokingly, another chum said, “Oh, he is of the same level with Ted.” Going back to the story, the news has spread at lightning speed, and we found ourselves surrounded by the suspects’ folks. Damn! Can you imagine the feeling of being confronted by a mother telling you that their poverty shouldn’t be the reason his son be put to jail? Damn again! We are the aggrieved here! Is poverty an excuse for attacking others who don’t even know you, or would never ever dare to get involve with your lives? 

Don’t go storytelling here; you were never the only people who lived life at its most difficult challenges. The only difference it made was the fact that we were raised aware of the limits we have as free humans. You messed up with us, now is the time to give you lessons. Some people play stupid to get themselves excused of the things they did. Nevertheless, if you didn’t really know what law is, then this is the time to learn the hard way. If you have been successful with your other victims, then take this differently. If you got personal troubles, count us out. We don’t even have time to settle our own issues.

The distress you caused can never be eased by an insincere sorry. Every single day we always play detectives on our way to work. Don’t you think it’s reason enough for you not to be forgiven?  You have got you day, now let us have ours. 

Love-hate with English Fun Day

There is one common thing between the coin and every single story; they both have two sides!

I am an NPA (no permanent affiliation) in school. I bet they think I like to multi-task! Ha-ha-ha~ I belong to three groups; my first love, writing department, the reading group, and the option class (IELTS reading). So what’s the good side? I never get to work with a single group of people. It would mean meeting and developing close relationships with more people than others. The bad? Can’t find my entire piece of loyalty somewhere~ can you please pick it up for me?

LOVE IT:

Today is quite different from the usual class days. There have been some divisions by the ballroom area for days. The scenes have been an explanation enough to look forward to an “out of routine day”.

Everybody seems to be so excited. We are in a hurry, trying to figure out what to do, planning our way to outwit other groups. Ha-ha-ha! So there must be something really special with this event. For others, this will be the perfect time to get oriented with the faces we get to see everyday but are never really close with… there have been some groups around here… and we can’t get to meet all students in our classes.

Beware!! We’re anti-dictatorial! It’s common knowledge we are one of the most easily-led people. People here are mostly of liberal arts or communication majors… what else do you expect??? We are a bunch of loud talkers, editors, above all, college-days rebels, so talk nicely. We’ve been a team for always. It is a custom with the group I used to lead (writing) to work together, being asked or not. I’m glad we still have that spirit!!!!  Teamwork was so effective. In fact, when I dropped by the booth, they have had something marked for me to see. Guess what~ one part of the wall decoration are sets of neo tattler articles, and one page outshines them all (I’ll strangle Angelie^^) Why is that so? It was highlighted with and arrow and a heart. It was an article entitled “A Memory of Europe”, written last February 2007… I need not divulge the writer anymore. Knock it off, guys! 

Age limit? It’s where idealism almost always gets crumpled by tons of experiences. Reading/listening group is quite special. This is where most of the “seniors” gather. (Suddenly I’m confused with my stage in life…Hahaha)~ Anyway, being one of the youngest members do the charm (wink-wink). With all the things people here are busy about, don’t expect us to meet every single day and talk about so many concerns; we are a group of absolute independence, sometimes, indifference. This is quite a rare opportunity to spend the whole day together.  Luckily, we have with us the school artist, so that means our booth looks simply theme-relevant. (Didn’t look like a kindergarten… hek-hek-hek… thanks to Gracey~~~^^)

Laughter is everywhere. Countless sounds of joy. Can’t recognize which sound belongs to which nationality! Hahaha~

Say cheese~~~~ curls!!!! This is going to be one of the most photographed days! So tiring to smile!!! Expect more photos on friendster, facebook, tagged, and cyworld soon…

HATE IT:

“Out of the routine day” is of no question, a great way to refresh ourselves. Bad thing is, it is far more tiring compared with the usual days. Years of teaching has gotten almost everyone of us accustomed to the lessons in the book. We need not stare at them at all. But now it’s not just for your own students inside your classroom, it’s for every single student around. That means lots of preparation to lead everyone else.

Who should take control? It’s damn irritable to see that after all the efforts of the teachers, well, all we have to see are… some students who preferred to go out than participate, with some crap explanation from the management that the persuasion isn’t enough just yet… worst of all, budget sooooooo “big” I wanted to donate to feel better.

Flashback and the wall posting! It wasn’t really a bad thing but it reminds me of how I wish I were stupid! Everytime we get to have this program every year, I can’t help but look back at the time when I was supposed to be in my room, having the privilege of privacy expressing my heartfelt goodbyes to the writer of the “marked article”. That time had been so selfish on us. I hate-hate-hate this program! I wish that the next year’s schedule won’t fall on the day when special people for us would have their last days! Good thing there is still something good going on between me and the writer… hahahahaha~~~~^^ (don’t complain, friends)

Just what is good planning? I think it had been a waste of time for me trying to catch up with the deadline for the game rules that never get to be played. It wasn’t because it was so difficult to follow, but because people around seems to prefer the easiest, effortless way to handle something. Another frustrating thing is, you’ll work your things out and be expected to do others’ job just for the reason they are lazy to take responsibility. I have always respected people older than I am, but that is never a part of my belief. Worst thing is, when the person who gets to hold all the game plan decides to leave the materials the day before without explaining, but with the plan never to attend the day of the event. Great!!! Soooo great! Thanks for wasting my time and effort doing something that might give you credits. All you gotta see is a big smile on my face~ I am frank for as much as I don’t want to be angry. There is always a next time~

This is a picture-perfect day! No doubt! We just hope it will be use to with the words “sincerity and truthfulness” in mind.

Stories do have two sides, and so are the coins that teachers spent due to the budget cut! How can you be so charitable, guys? Hope there are still people out there like you! Such a great asset!! Hek-hek-hek!!!! ^^ So proud of you!!! Promise!

Forever Thankful: A Mother’s Day tribute to my mom

I know that I have never been perfect but you are always there, caring, understanding, loving me more than anyone else did.

When you brought me out of this world, I know I was never really needed. You have got three already, thanks to my brother’s request, though, I was given the opportunity to see this wonderful world.  We all know what hardships we’ve been through. But thanks for always being strong; showing us everything is perfectly OK, doing personal sacrifices to cover them up. No matter what I do, I know I can never pay it back.

Thank you so much for listening whole heartedly in every single story I tell. Though some of them are soooo old to be told, you always have the eager ear to make me feel it’s a brand new story. It eases the pain I feel everytime I see your face across the table, listening eagerly to what I am saying. Or touching my hair while I’m lying on my bed.

Thanks for raising me the way I am right now. Thanks for the lessons of life. I will always live by them. Though I have many challenges ahead, I bravely face them all because I know that when I go home, I will always be hailed the winner and the best daughter there is.

Thanks for always reminding me that I still have the power to get what I wanted. When I am down, I know that you are always the crowning glory I look forward to. Thanks for always taking the shadows for me to get into success you have always wanted for yourself.  

Thanks for instilling in me the value of excellence in everything I do. I have failed to give you the highest honors in school, but you always believed that I am the first, that no one else has to bring me down. Thanks for the childhood lesson you have given, I know I have pleased countless people, but I’m not convinced I have given my best to make you proud.

When I was young, I find it hard to understand why I should take academic things seriously, but you led me to the correct path telling me that is the only way to make my life better. Thank you so much mom for developing in me the love of the written words. For giving me the chance to learn ahead of my age. For being patient teaching me how to read and write when I was two. It was later in my life when I realized that it has defined the way I had been through my dreams. For people who believed in me, I may not be smart enough to do everything but you always give hope each time I experience failure.

Thanks for the comforting words and hugs you readily give when I feel hurt. I don’t know how to get through my life if you were not there, telling me I’m just human to commit mistakes, be hurt, and learn lessons the hard way.

Thanks for emphasizing and showing me the example of how should I show love to others.

Thanks for always greeting me by the door everytime I go home, asking me about my day @ work.

Thanks for reassuring that I am still loved regardless of how bad I get sometimes.

Thanks for reminding me the value of respect, belief in God, and forgiveness.

Thanks for the goodnight kisses and hugs you offer to make me feel better just before I close my eyes every single day.

Thanks for the sacrifices you have done, to the extent of spoiling me. Sometimes I act childish when I’m with you, but thank you so much for the assuring smile telling me it’s fine.

There is no enough way to tell you how thankful I am for you…

Nevertheless, I promise to be the best I can be. I love you mom. You’re the best there is!